The Confession

A woman takes a lover home during he day
while her husband at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly,
sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also come home.
She puts her lover in the closet,
not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says 
"Dark in here."


The man says 
"Yes, it is."

Boy : "I have a baseball..."

Man : "That's great."

Boy : "Want to buy it?"

Man : "No, thanks."

Boy : "My dad's outside."

Man : "OK, how much?"

Boy : "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again
 that the boy and the lover
are in the closet together.

Boy : "Dark in here."

Man : "Yes it is."

Boy : "I have a baseball glove."

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,
"How much?"

Boy : "$750"

Man : "Sold."

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy,
"Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says,
"I can't, I sold my baseball and my gloves."

The Dad asks,
"How much did you sell them for?"

Boy : "$1000"

The Dad says,
"That's terrible to over charge your friends like that! 
That is way more than those two things cost.
I'm taking you to the confession."

They go to the church,
and the Dad makes the little boy 
sit in the confession booth and closes the door..

The boys says,
"Dark in here."

The priest says,
"Don't start with that shit again,
you're in my closet now."




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Awkward texts

Hello people~
Have you ever read text messages from 
your parents or uncles or teachers 
and compare it with your friends'?

And what do you feel like when you're reading your
elderly people text's?
Awkward?
Expression-less?

And that's exactly how I feel. 

Ok, perhaps you kinda need a 'receipt',
so here I go,
Your father texts
"Muza, sekarang tengah buat apa........ Ayah baru masukkan duit dalam akaun....
Belanja elok elok dan jangan membazir.... TQ"

And your brother texts
"Muza, buat ape dowh?? Bapak ko baru masukkan duet kot!
And die suroh belaja leklok and jangan membazir."

Compare between them two,
and you tell me, which one is having more expression.
The teenager's one right?

But what it all matters was
the message is delivered, and everybody can tell what's the meaning of it,
but it's just annoyed the s**t outta me when
my friend wrote like a dad.

I was like,
When were you born?

And there's another type of human who wrote like,
Th4nKZ 4 7he 4DD ! h0p3 t0 k33p 1N tOucH!!



This kinda of species REALLY, REALLY
pissed the f**k outta me!!

If you asked,
"wH4Ts WroNg?"
Then I'll answer,
"OBVIOUSLY YOUR EDUCATION"

There's another type of human 
that wrote with extreme abbreviation
that people can't really understand it.
You need to change girl!




p/s : actually, Im bored. Sorry if this' boring



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From the Memory of The Kings : Dahab - Sharm el-Sheikh

Hello people of the virtual world.
Welcome again to my elegant yet not your typical blog.

Like what I had posted before this,
which is all about Sharm el-Sheikh,
and now that I'm back from that earthly paradise,
I wanna share with you all the experiences.

How nice is it?
You be the judge. :)

Okay,
first destination is actually Dahab,

which is about 1++ hours from Sharm.

We stayed in Dahab for 2 nights.


First stop?
of course the hotel.
If you asked me where I stay,
I might utter the word Le Meridien.
Better don't ask. 


So we arrived at the morning,
and the first activity is snorkeling at the Blue Hole.
The most beautiful and most dangerous place for
diving,
not for snorkeling.



If you guys followed my twitter,
you might have read it on the timeline.
Tu la, ade twitter bukan nak follow aku!
Ptuih!


The Blue Hole is like,
satu teluk kecil,
and beberapa langkah je dah menjunam jatuh ke bawah
lantai dia.

and it's forming a hole.
A very deeeeep holeeee.

So, kene pakai life jacket la for sure untuk noobies like me. 


Time snorkeling tu x de amek gambar sebab 
kamera aku bukan boleh masuk air.
Maaflah, saya bukan anak dato' tunjuk itu ini dapat.


Gamba cina kat atas tuh
is actually a Malaysian yang jugak datang bercuti kat sini.
Name is Steve Chan something like that.

Macam mane aku make sure die Malaysian not China Chinese ?
Aku cakap kat die
"Ko orang Mesya eh?"
HAHAHAHA
Only Malaysian can understand that.

Then kitorg borak2 lah after tu.

Sumpah time snorkeling tu lawa gila lah coral2 kat bawah tuh!
Tapi malang tak de underwater casing or camera.
Sumpah lawa ciptaan Allah!!

Tapi problemnya,
aku tak pandai snorkeling,
manjang air masin nak masuk mulut je.
Ptuih.
Then otak focus kat surviving in the water je lah.
X de langsung nak tengok ikan2 tu dah.

After the snorkeling,
I thought dah over,
(terasa yang snorkeling ni satu azab, dah lah sejuk gile kawasan ni!
Windy gila!!)

but dan2 pergi pulak kat second venue,
The Three Pools.
This time,
I ain't go into the water.
Nyesal.
Tapi all member kate tempat ni lagi cantik.
And I was like,



kesah?

hahaha
And I went to panjat a few gunung batu.
And the view??

Breathless.

And we took a few (okay hundreds!)
of pictures,
owh and also videos,
(nanti aku upload!)
and then we head back down.


Then we head back to our hotel by the jeep
we used to come here.

For the night,
oh ini jalan2 waktu siang bersama Izzad :)



kitorg jejalan sajo kat sekitar Dahab Town.
Ala, the city isn't that big.
It's like a diver's town.
Kecik sajo.

For dinner, kitorg just makan hotdog ke lebih kurang macam tu la.
for 15 LE.
Divide 2 klu nak harga in RM.

and next, cam bese lah,
lepak2 tepi pantai in the middle of the night,
sambil borak2,
owh and most importantly,
we played,
Truth or Dare.
(okay actually, truth sajo)

What do we talked about?
It'll be the Secret of The Kings.


mesti korang macam ni kan? hahahaha!
;p

It was such a long night.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The next morning,
I was the only human between us who
opened up my eyes.

I woke at 7 something,
and my mission?
Sunrise!
OMG.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME EVER I WATCHED A SUNRISE.



What a beautiful scenery ya'all!!
(okay actually the sun already rose, but mmh, it's okay)

So, I took tonnes of pictures lah!
I will upload them later.

Tengah2 amek gamba, tibbah anjing datang.

huahuahua
cuak satu saat sajo,
sbb anjing kat Dahab memang a lot like 
the Jews in Hell.
LAHAR!

So, berdiri je lah dekat2 dengan anjing tu.
Comel whatt..
Dia teman kejap I amek gamba. ;)

Next activity?
Swimming at the Blue Lagoon~!!!
Mampu??



Naseb baek Blue Lagoon ni ade pepasir sikit.
Tapi batu2 still ade lah.
Style en gamba aku?
Very Tumblr Material.





The venue made me astound and my jaw dropped!



It was a lagoon suitable for para-gliding and ab-sailing.
And there's tonnes of tourists maen ab-sailing and para-gliding tuh.

NAK JUGAK!
*tapi tak reti :(*

Kitorang swim for just about 1 hour je,
coz it was cold, and we're tired.

Plus, in the afternoon,
we got another activity,
ATV RIDING!!!

Damn,
to many to story lah!

So, best ke tak ATV Riding ni?
I'll tell you what,
if you got a chance to try, 
but you don't,
I think you better jump off the cliff.
Mati baik.
hahaha




After ATV,
we spend our second or last night in Dahab,
So for dinner,
we eat like a King.

  And what did I order?
LAMB RIBS BABEYH!!!

KO MAMPU?!

That is one hell of a meat!
Itu lah daging paling manisssss aku pernah rasa!!

The taste is just voila!



takde lah, ni bukan restoran die.
saje bubuh gamba ni.

Then,
the next morning,
we head to Sharm el-Sheikh.
This is where all the magic happens. :)

Fuhhh it's too much to story here although we're
in Sharm for just about 22 hours.

We came here unprepared.
No plans, no maps,
nothing at all.

hahahaha

This is what I like.
No plans, so we just follow the flow~~

First stop in Sharm,
Carrefour. Because we're hungry lah!


and next? Naama Bay!




And we head to the Naama Bay, or the beach.
The center of the attraction.
Rupanya nak masuk beach pon kene bayar weh!
Terpakse lah kluar duet lagi.
;(

Then mandi2 kejap,
until 5pm,
because at 5, the place was about to close.
The place was magnificent!

Beautiful water and all,
best of all, the beach has sand.
Weird why I said this?
Because in Dahab, the beach has no sand AT ALL.
Just rocks, and suddenly water.


owh and cruises where everywhere,
if you got an extra money, 
you really should join the cruise. 


After we checked out the beach,
we aint got no place to go.
With the bags yang berat macam bawak 
makcik yang tengah 4 bulan mengandung,
we wandered the Sharm City.




At last,
a spark of genius came from inside of my head,
to call my other friend and asked about a cheap hotel.
That way, we can put our stuffs there,
and conquer the Sharm City. :))

So at last, we got a hotel,
on top a a hill, facing the Naama Bay,
the only question is, 
KO MAMPU?!

hahahaha

We put our stuffs there
(actually, the room is for 2, 
but we stuffed it with 8 peoples.
Bahahahaha, but you know what,
the room are gigantic for 2 persons!)
and we head to stroll Naama Bay at night.

Down the bay,
the scenery was totally Las Vegas-ish!
Light everywhere!
Sheesha everywhere!
Just 5LE okay!
HAHA 

and the workers at any cafe was kinda desperate
to attract tourist to enter their cafes.

That way, we can tawar-tawar until dapat harga yang menarik.
Hikhik

There's everything from KFC, to TGI Friday's,
to Baskin Robbins, to Starbucks, 
and last but the most,
Hard Rock Cafe!

HAHAHA!
siap ade bouncer bhai kat depan tuh!
We stroll the city,
without buying anything.
Everything mahal kot!
Wasting saliva jah tanye berapa harga.

We jalan-jalan-jalan-jalan
until kaki dah penat.
(Seriously, aku dah takde mood nak tulis sebab panjang sgtt)

But the bottomline is,
you guys HAVE to jejakkan kaki here,
both Dahab and Sharm.

They are EPIC.

and for souvenir, 
I bought just a sand-written name in a bottle,
macam ni lah muka aku time mamat arab tu buat pasir
tulis nama dalam botol

for 25LE at Dahab,
and the priceless souvenirs are
all the photoes I've taken.
It's almost 12GB.
It's PRICELESS.

p/s :
I won't tell you ALL ABOUT what had happened
in Dahab and Sharm,
because what happens in Dahab and Sharm,
stays in Dahab and Sharm.
Period.
Forever become the Secret of The Kings.
Boy's secret. 

Until then,
bubye~!!












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Sharm el Sheikh


Beautiful paradise isn't it?

Blue water, luxurious hotel, gazebo here and there,
pineapple drinks on the hot sunny day,
lying out in the sun.

Ahh what a perfect getaway.

This place what I'm showing you here is what we call
Sharm el-Sheikh.

The Miami of Egypt.
The LA of the Middle East.

The holiday for Eid Al Adha is just around the corner,
and my friend and I are planning to 
hangin out FABULOUSLY
at Sharm el-Sheikh.

and I am perfectly happy about it!
YEAY! IT'S SHARM FOR GOD'S SAKE!


See that? Who doesn't want to be pampered with such luxury?


And yeah of course the main attraction here is the beach.
The alluring azure seawater that'll turn your eyes blinded with such beauty of nature.


and there's also cruises there,
which is a MUST DO for every tourists.
Including myself.

This is the sheesha place which is again, fabulously decorated with all the lights
and sofa in the open air and
thousands of tourists gonna hang out here.


This is just the brief introduction to the
about-to-become-reality-holiday here.

And for the record,
I kinda have my money saved up for this majestic trip.
Ahh!!
I CAN'T WAIT TO BE THERE!!!


SHARM EL-SHEIKH,
PREPARE YOURSELF FOR MY FABULOUS ARRIVAL!




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HEBAT!

anak haram.

anak luar nikah.

anak Valentine's.

Banyak sangat lah benda benda macam ni happen kat Malaysia.

Plus,
paling baru yang aku bace is
budak 14 tahun dah 4 kali mengandung, and semuanya gugur.

Baby tu die letak mana?
Dalam plastik, and sorok dalam bilik.



KEPALE HOTAK KAU!

Sumpah aku rase macam nak pukul pukul kepala kau sampai hancur.

PERANGAI TU TAK BOLEH MACAM PELACUR LAGI KE?

Dah tumbuh anak haram for the first time pon tak sedar-sedar lagi ke??

you think this' cool? Wait till you see me, slut.


Aku malas nak bubuh gambar gambar baby tu
sebab kesian sangat kat diorang,
bukan salah baby tuh,
but salah babi yang mengandungkan diorang.

Pandai romen tapi tak nak tanggung.
Dah tu bukan nak stop,
but still buat lagi.

(Habes semua nama binatang aku sebut)

Sumpah dowh,
kalau aku jumpa mana-mana perempuan yang perangai 
macam pelacur jalanan nih,
sumpah aku belasah dia sampai lunyai lumat.

Ingat aku tak mampu?
Wey aku laki kot,
takat pelacur,
alahai ape lah sangat.
Sekali sepak kepala kau,
terus kau pengsan, time tu lah aku hancurkan jasad kau.

Kau tak sedar-sedar lagi ke hah
time kau mengandung for the first time?
Kau mati lagi baik lah.
Kurang dosa kau (Although dah banyak macam pasir kat Morib).


Kau tunggu je lah.
Dah romen then buang baby,
then buat lagi,
then buang lagi,
then buat lagi.
Ko tengok je aku buat ape kalau aku jumpa kau.


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About This Blog!

Hello, welcome to the all fresh and new itsallaboutyuri. Historically, this blog is used as a tool to lashes out other people that deserves it. Well, worry no more, because the new itsallaboutyuri is nothing like that. This blog is re-established to make you guys laugh, smile and says "This blog is silly!". Again, welcome.